Today is World Bipolar Day. I was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder with rapid cycling and depression a few months ago.
I am still trying to get the medicines lined out, but I am a lot better than I was. Bipolar disorder, with its extreme mood swings from depression to mania, used to be called manic-depressive disorder.
Bipolar disorder is very serious and can cause risky behavior, even suicidal tendencies, and can be treated with therapy and medication.
I sometimes feel like which of my feelings are real? Which of the me’s is me? The wild, impulsive, chaotic, energetic, and crazy one? Or the shy, withdrawn, desperate, suicidal, doomed, and tired one? Probably a bit of both, hopefully, much that is neither. Never knowing whether an episode will last for half an hour or half a month makes it hard to plan things.
Today is World Bipolar Day
Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere, all of a sudden, this overwhelming sadness rushes over me. And then I get discouraged, upset and feel hopeless, sad and hurt. And once again, I feel numb to the world.
People would like me to deny my bipolar disorder, my experiences with it and its effects. Mostly just to make them feel better. But that is not going to happen – it is time to end the stigma!