A Christmas Hillbilly Love Story

Jim Bob were just like any other young’un that lived up Boogger Holler, he never had nary a thing, he were poor.

He were a rowdy young’un that went barefooted in the spring and summertime and he loved fishin and huntin.

The old boots he wore weren’t nary better than having nary at all on his feet in the wintertime.

Most of the time he had to put bread sacks over his socks and then put his boots on in the winter.

Jim Bob didn’t have much schoolin, he mostly worked for his’n Pa on the farm. Well, he mostly watched because he was about as useless as tits on a boar hog. It were getting close to Christmas time and Jim Bob was gettin fresh with a gal over yonder. She was reared from up on Jenkins Ridge. That was what the head of Boogger Holler was called.

Not sure what Peggy Sue seen in Jim Bob he looked like he fell outta the ugly tree and hit every limb on his’n way down. Her though, now she was pretty as a brand new shiny penny. Her’n parents didn’t like ole Jim Bob much they said they heared-Tell he was lazy. But she had started to have some feelins fer him.

There were a barn dance and pie sale goin on Christmas Eve. He reckon he wasn’t afeared to ask Peggy Sue to this here shindig. He told his Pa that he was fixin to take Peggy Sue to that there barn dance and pie sale. His Pa told him that he better get to helpin him so he could marry that there gurl because he’d nary find another one as purty as her.

Ole Jim Bob started helpin his Pa and workin like a mule nowadays. If’n he was fixin to marry that gurl he was goin to need a bit of land to build a house for her. So Pa gave Jim Bob a bit of land over yander in Pole Cat holler. Jim Bob went up to Peggy Sue’s and snatched her up and took her to see the piece of land hi Pa had give him.

She said, “Why Jim Bob are fixin to ask me to marry you?” He said, “I reckon I might. But I am afeared you might tell me no.” She told him he’d haffin to go tell her Pa and probably take along one of them fine pigs he’d been raisin up to butcher.

She said, “Pa loves to barter so that way you can ask’m iffin you could marry me.” Jim Bob said, I knowed he liked to barter. I recollect him and Pa makin some barted deals when I was just a young’un.”

So the day of that there barn dance was upon them. Jim Bob had saved a few pennies to buy one of them there pies that was gonna be there. He go dressed in his best Sunday Goin to Church clothes and headed towards that barn dance.

There was a skift of snow on the ground but that didn’t stop ole Jim Bob. He met up with Peggy Sue and they danced a few jigs and he bought an apple pie and they drank some apple cider and et some of that apple pie.

The barn dance was going on purty late and it was almost mid-night and they said they was goin to do one more song. It was a slow song so Jim Bob and Peggy Sue got up to dance. But Jim Bob had other plans and he had done talked to the man that was doing the announcing.

He got up and the announcer said, “Jim Bob wants to say sumthin.” Jim Bob got down on one knee and asked Peggy Sue to marry him. She said, “Yes!!, Jim Bob I will marry you. But you still gotta go ask my Pa.”

He said, “Peggy Sue, look at there clock on the wall, It’s Christmas time. You’v given me the best gift any’n coulda done.” She said, “Jim Bob in about 8 months imma give you the best gift of’m all.”

Well he could’nt imagine what that was gonna be. And she had to whisper in his ear, “I’m pregnant Jim Bob, with your baby.” He let out a squall, “Yahooo, I’mma be a Pa, I’m havin a young’un of myself. Merry Christmas Y’all.

Calling

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